I don't know if I'm in my prime anymore...
As a male boudoir photographer in Utah, I always like to set up a pre-planning meeting with any new clients. I always use this time to get a sense of who someone is, what they’re hoping for, and where they might be holding back.
We first met over Zoom. He was warm, a little funny, and definitely self-deprecating. “I don’t know if I’m in my prime anymore,” he said. “I just turned 51. This is for my boyfriend… I’d love to get some ass pics.”
He referenced Moira Rose from Schitt’s Creek — “Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, ‘Oh, I’m too spooky,’ or ‘Nobody wants to look at these tiny boobies.’ But believe me—one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, ‘Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!’”
That was the energy he brought.
He hadn’t done a photoshoot before, aside from a few headshots. But something about turning 51—combined with a deep desire to give his partner something special—pushed him to book. He’d seen my work through Etsy and followed the trail to Instagram, then my site.
He was clear about what he didn’t want: no glamour shots, no overly posed GQ style. He referenced a queer photographer whose work focused on strong gay male bodies, particularly butt-centric shots. That was the vibe.
When I asked if he was anxious, he said no. But when I asked about body insecurities, he said, “All of it.”
No abs anymore. Didn’t want shots of his stomach unless I was directing him to suck it in. He had some discoloration on his butt he wasn’t excited about showing. But he also acknowledged he had nice legs and a good ass—he just didn’t know how it would look in front of the camera.
He was open to nudity, but clear: no full frontal. “I’m not worried about being naked,” he said. “Just about how it’ll turn out.”
Self-Deprecation to Self-Appreciation
Fast forward to shoot day: He’d flown into Utah that afternoon and drove straight to my studio. Tired. Vulnerable. Joking again about how hard it would be to find 20 good photos.
I’ve learned to read that kind of humor as a form of protection—“If I make fun of myself first, it won’t hurt as much if I don’t like what I see.”
We laid out all his clothing and talked through the options. He started off wearing a shirt and shorts—simple, familiar.
We began there.
At first, I was still figuring out his angles, playing with the light, guiding him into shapes that felt natural. As always, it takes me a few minutes to find that rhythm with a client—the point where direction and comfort intersect.
Slowly, we moved into shirtless looks. He had no problem undressing in front of me, which was telling. He wasn’t embarrassed around me—just unsure how the camera would interpret his body.
Then came the turning point.
He changed into a black leather harness and jock strap.
I changed the lighting to something more dramatic: low-key, directional, sculpting. I focused the setup around his back and legs. The light hugged the shape of his glutes and defined the strength in his thighs.
I showed him the back of the camera.
His whole mood shifted. He lit up.
“This is me?”
That’s one of my favorite moments in any session: the exact second someone starts to believe in the image of themselves I’m seeing.
From that moment on, it clicked. He relaxed. He trusted me. We moved room to room—trying different backdrops, poses, lighting setups. His body started to open. His spirit did too.
Even though he’d said earlier that he didn’t want stomach shots, I found a few angles and poses that highlighted his lats and side abs. The man clearly works out. And in a few shots, he looked massive—not in a hyper-masculine way, but in a strong, grounded, “I’m here and I take up space” kind of way.
Throughout the session, I kept showing him previews. And every time, his self-doubt melted a little more.
That night, I got this message from him:
“That was so damn fun and you are so damn phenomenally talented. Thank you 🙏🏽 I'm coming back. Appreciate and admire you.”
From low expectations to picking 80 favorites
When I delivered his gallery, he sent me a favorites list of 80+ images. The man who wasn’t sure we’d get 20… couldn’t narrow it down.
He ended up choosing 25 final images and tipped me generously. But more importantly, he felt good.
He shared the photos with his boyfriend, his friends, even his Scruff profile (until the platform flagged one of them).
“Laurence, thank you. Wow! This has been a heady evening looking at my fat ass with great lighting through the work of a talented AF photographer. Scruff made me delete the photo from my profile. 😂 I’ve had a blast sharing your IG link with friends.”
Then, when I posted another image a few days later, I got this follow-up:
“OMG!!! THANK YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Changing my Scruff profile pic to your art has resulted in significantly more woofs as well as offers for more wood. 😂”
This is why I do what I do. Not for the woofs (though we love that). But for the transformation. Male boudoir isn’t just about taking hot pics. It’s about witnessing someone shift—from seeing themselves as past their prime, to realizing how worthy and magnetic they still are.
And honestly? That shift can happen at 51 just as much as it can at 25.
You just have to be brave enough to step in front of the lens. If you're ready to book your male boudoir photoshoot, then contact me today.
